King/Queen of the hill

[RBS]

I notice a lot of holes in the hill from previous attacks. I order a dumptruck of baking soda (calcium carbonate) and fill them all in. I use my little known wizard spell and make a thundercloud to rain vinegar (acetic acid) down and create the world's largest 5th grade volcano science project. The foam and froth gently sweep you away into the valley of costumes...

Edit: Oh yeah, after all the suds have cleared I go up and become King.

[Lausco]

I stand up soaking wet and look around I feel amazed at the choice of costumes and spend an hour or so browsing then I find a cave girl costume to put on. It's perfect because of the warmth from the chemicals. I pack myself some more costumes and then I climb over the other hills and watch you cooking a chicken on a spit over the fire. Hunger takes over me and I run over to your hill. You look up to see a ravenous cave girl standing over you. You can see I mean business and so you leave the chicken and run down the hill. I unpack my costume suitcase change into a maid costume and serve myself some food which I eat after putting on the crown. I am queen

[RBS]

I find a fertile valley nearby and start a prosperous tomato farm. My next door neighbor builds catapults for a hobby. We have a few beers and get the silly idea to fling some tomaters. Looks like the wind was blowing in your direction and we score 10 consecutive hits on your crowned noggin (which we thoroughly find amusing). You decided to pack up and head for safe ground when you see my new genetically engineered super tomato being loaded for a toss.

I take over as the Tomato King.

[Lausco]

I realise the only way that I am going to get the hill back is to come at you from above. I look in my suitcase and I find an air stewardess costume. I find an abandoned plane nearby and I get in it and hover above you. I drop down a magical rope and it ties you up. I jump down from the plane and sit on the throne using you as my foot stool lol. I am queen!!!!!!

[RBS]

Footstool? Ahh but not just any footstool...I become THIS footstool..



I slowly crawl away down the hill pulling your royal sleeping beauty patootie along with me. We reach the bottom and you are still sawing logs giving me time to crawl back up and resume my Tomato Turtle King throne.

[Lausco]

I sit and think for ages and then I realise that the answer has been in my hand all the time! The log I have just been sawing!! I change into my swimming costume (to stop the tomatoes making my costumes dirty) and creep up the hill with the log. As the tomatoes come down I use the log to hit them back at you. When I reach the top of the hill there is a red turtle staring back up at me I feel sorry for you and put you in a bath...... Then I push the bath down the hill hehehehe I am queen!!

[RBS]

I open a pie shop at the bottom of Royal Mountain. When the queue goes down you come down to see my wares. You find a blueberry you like and start to leave without paying. I say, "Hey, your Highness...that's $3.14" You say royalty does not pay. I say then you get no pie. I try to take it back but something tragically hysterical happens and it ends up square in your face making you look all Smurfy. You retaliate with a banana cream with a surprisingly good right arm for a girl. Soon all the pies are flying around until we both end up laughing in a heap of fillings and crust. You say you have never had so much fun and abdicate the throne to become a commoner.

I see my chance and run up to the throne to become the Pie King (formerly Turtle Tomato King)

[Lausco]

I get cleaned up and then as I don't think a Pie King would be such a bad King (free pies?) I decide to do a degree, I see all the people around me who have been damaged for life by the tomato years and decide to do a nursing degree.
When I have finished I get out my nurses costume from the suitcase and go to talk to a buzzy bee. The buzzy bee comes up the hill and stings you, immediately I run up the hill and take a look at your sting. I tell you it needs urgent medical attention and you run off to the hospital. I am Queen Nursey of the hill.

[gh1]

OMB what did you just say????????????????

*takes the crown and rolls Lausco off the Hill*

I'm King(ya i kno i'm lazy)

[Lausco]

I climb the hill and give you a laziness test.. you can't be bothered to answer any of the questions so you fail. I whistle and two men come up the hill and carry you away to the laziness centre. I take back my Nursey Queen throne and crown

[2 Tails]

I hire Ed (From Ed Edd n Eddy) to throw his "Gravy cakes" at you.You run off.

I walk up the hill.

I WON!

[Lausco]

I hire Homer and Bart Simpson. Homer catches and eats the "gravy cakes" and Bart skateboards up the hill, shouts "Aye Carumba!!" and pings you right in the forehead with his catapult. Then he writes, several times, on the hill's blackboard "Lausco is queen of the hill and everyone else is a dirty rascal". Homer passes out on the floor from eating, with a hint of gravy dribble and Bart skateboards off into the sunset, Leaving me to climb the hill and take my throne!

[RBS]

Marge comes looking for her family with Maggie seated on top of her blue hair which conveniantly is just the height of the hilltop. Maggie needs a nappy change and the smell causes you to faint and roll right off the hill. I examine you but you are so green I mistake you for an alien and assume the hill is unclaimed.

I am now the King.

[Lausco]

I wake up and ask Lisa what to do next she whispers something into my ear and we walk off. You sit back confident that I have given up, then Apu comes along with a drink for you. Under the impression that you are safe you drink it unsuspectingly, Apu shouts "thank you, come again" and walks off. Next thing you know you are hallucinating and you realise that it was a pure syrup slushy!!!! You wander off looking and speaking some gibberish about rabbits in pies. I come back with Lisa as my royal consort and I am queen!!!

[RBS]

After my sugar rush and an unexplained visit to New York City I decide to wow you with the 3 most eligible bachelors in Springfield. I send Moe, Barney and Moleman up the hill strutting like tomcats on steroids. Lisa runs off in fear. You try to fend them off but Barney belches and you fly off to Centerville.

The despondant bachelors plod off to the sunset and once again I grab the hill.