The "Let it out" Thread

[EscapeGirl]

i just dont know what to do... everyday my family insults me and more and more theyve become more personal... i usually dont let them get to me, i mean i try to be happy and nice and kind to everyone and i almost always am but well today at dinner my dad who i see about twice a year said something really insulting to me and for somereason it just got to me and it really hurt so i just sat in the bathroom crying... i was even thinking about running away and listing the places in my head where i can go.. where i can sleep i even know where they keep there money and such.. and then i started thinking about suicide... i dont know what to do can someone help me

Hi dear Heart!

I have been in similar (though not exactly) situations, and I know how bad it can make you feel. Just as everyone has been saying, you just have to remember all the people who DO care about you and love you, and who don't insult you like that. I agree with Crimson, in that you should definitely confront your family about it. Do it at a time when you are able to speak calmly and rationally about it so that they can see your point, versus when you are overcome with the emotions. A counselor can work wonders. Just getting things off your chest, and explaining your situation and having someone to talk to. If you can't get into counseling with/through your family, try talking to your school counselor.

Running away, or doing anything severe just isn't worth it. Hopefully these things will only make you a stronger person in the long run, though I know it doesn't make them any easier to deal with right now. But you know, when you're feeling stressed or down, just know you can always come here to GH. You're loved, wanted, and won't be insulted. Just please don't do anything dangerous. We love having you on the Hood, and enjoy hugging you and chatting with you. You can always PM me about anything you want. I'm here for you, my dear. You have a ton of people who care...right here on da Hood.

[Daisfunky]

Hey Heartofthedark: It's harder when the people who you love are horrible to you. Our homes are supposed to be a place of refuge and sanctuary. It's sad how often this isn't the case. Please, do not run away though! I thought about that while I was going through a tough situation and even went ahead and did it. (For 3 hours lol then I got hungry) You'll grow stronger from this and try to list all of the good things about yourself. Try to be happy! *big hug* Escapegirl is right....we're all here for you!

[Iva]

iva - well i havent... yet...

I'm glad! And if you do, you can always stay at my place

[Heartofthedark]

if only i had the money to move and fly to amsterdam XD

[Skellisin]

Dear Mr. Heartofthedark:

I want to say that your handle is very cool. I really like it. I know that you feel horrible about your situation. Being homeless I promise you is not the answer. I am twice your age, and have been exactly in your position (kinda...believe me) and I know. I have had a tough life. I went to college, right after highschool and worked full-time. I was a real "zombie" at the end of each day. I am still paying for the college (9 years later). My parents could not agree with each other and divorced when I was 14. I am not a genius but I always did very well in school. I love school.

...........Getting to my point...... Last year my best friend, My wife, decided I was not making the correct decisions with my life. She asked me to move out. I did. I was a total reck. I was bouncing around trying to figure out my life and forgetting the main idea...SURVIVAL.

Since then I have been a model husband (sorry ladies I am in love). Six monthes after I moved in with my family and my wife decides she doesn't know what she wants, and leaves with my two beautiful daughters. All that I want is my family. Suicide..... yeah, gets you out of it...but think of all the other people in your life...I'm sure there's many..... that actually care.

My point is: FIND THEM.

[Mistery]

Awww, that's a very sad story, Skellisin
I hope that things will get better over time. Here's a big for ya.

[Skellisin]

Thank You Mistery....

Things will get better. Thats my point for Heart. Things will get better.

(that doesn't mean things will change)

[Heartofthedark]

skell - im kinda over it now.. it just made me really sad... well whenever i look at my dad i still kinda get sad so ive been avoiding him... other then that things are back to normal i guess.. its just the fact that it comes from him that made me sad... because of the fact that i only see him twice per year made me sad that all he has for me is insults...


thats a sad story skell i really hope you find your two daughters... if your having trouble finding them you can go to court.... and try to get full custody

[Sandbox]

There is always someone who cares

I think oldest around (46) here. Although that does not make me the smartest.


To Dark Heart. It seems that there are a lot of people right here that love and care for you. Most have probably never met you in person, yet they do care.

I had a simular life growing up also, and I understand the feelings you are feeling. When I think back, it still hurts. I was a run away, trust me, don't ever go that route. If you do feel you have to leave, stay with someone who you trust, who you know will help.

Things can get better. I know they did for me, it just seems like sometimes the hill is to large to climb.

I have 5 daughters and 3 1/2 grand kids. We have climbed a lot of hills. Everytime we climb a new one, things seem just a little better.

Hope everything works out for you.

[Heartofthedark]

i need some help again... things seemed like they were getting better tell my dad came home... he wanted a kiss and i was so mad at him i walked out of the room so he yelled at me if you dont love me get out of my house... do i leave or do i stay? hes still waiting for me to do something...

[Sandbox]

hmmm

That is a awful thing for a parent to say.

I don't think I would leave, unless you have somewhere near by to go. A safe place, maybe a relative, or a friends house.

I am guessing here, but it sounds like your Dad was hurt in some kind of way by the fact you would not give him a kiss, and when someone hurts him, he lashes out with harsh words. If you only see your Dad a few times a year, he may expect you to be thrilled that he is there at that very moment, and when he doesn't get the response he thinks he should get from you, he hurts you, because you hurt him.

I understand your anger. Being dad twice a year isn't cutting it. Your growing up, without him there, and there is resentment on your part because when he walks through the door he thinks he can demand that you do what he says.

If he isn't there for long, just hang in there. Remember he won't be there for long, and things will get back to normal.

Does that make sense?

[EscapeGirl]

@Skellisin....I honestly hope that your wife finds what she wants soon - and I hope what she finds is you. I would be thrilled to hear from you one day soon that your wife and children were once again reunited with you.

i need some help again... things seemed like they were getting better tell my dad came home... he wanted a kiss and i was so mad at him i walked out of the room so he yelled at me if you dont love me get out of my house... do i leave or do i stay? hes still waiting for me to do something...

Heart...Sandbox makes good points - twice.

You have no where to go. Running away would not be productive. However, if you have relatives or friends nearby who you can stay with, I highly recommend checking with them. I know about resentment and anger toward your father. My father left 3 of my brothers, my mom, and me when I was only 3 weeks old. He only reappeared when I was 24 expecting me to accept him. I didn't even know him. I know resentment, and I know the hurt. But running away doesn't take that pain or resentment away.

I also agree with Sandbox (again), your father felt hurt by your rejection, and lashed back out at you.

Whatever you do, just know that things will get better. Sometimes it takes time, but you'll start feeling better again. Heck, maybe you are already starting to feel better. But if not, then start asking friends and relatives if you can stay with them awhile until things blow over. But running away will lead you to a very difficult life. Keep your head up, Heart. We're all here for you.

[zillah0625]

@heart
I can't say anything coz' it seems that what happend to u happend to me*takes deep breaths*I'm sorry I'm not good at advices..when i read your problem it makes me feel what i felt before about my father..ooohhh sh**
I'll just give you a
@Sandbox
good advice really

[Heartofthedark]

well... i stayed... he hasnt spoken to me yet... hes just stayed in the other room

[Iva]

@sandbox
That is really good advice! Thank you!

@heart
I'm glad you did, do you feel up to talking with him yet?