Jokes

[Adventure]

Lol, I like that joke. Thanks for sharing RBS.

[EscapeGirl]

That's a good one, RBS.

[RBS]

Stop about halfway and think what you would do

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it,the silence was broken by a large number of gasps, a few girls vomited and apparently someone fainted, however since then, to the relief of the maintenance man, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.... and then there are educators

[EscapeGirl]

Ewww!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

[Mistery]

Copper Wire

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers".

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Dilly, Texas , Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".
Just makes a person right proud to be a Texan , don't it?

ROOOOOOOOFL, I missed this one earlier

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it,the silence was broken by a large number of gasps, a few girls vomited and apparently someone fainted, however since then, to the relief of the maintenance man, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.... and then there are educators

Haha, good one

[Yvonne]

Sorry but I don't have any jokes but I like the ones I just read.

[RBS]

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of english:

1. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

4. Went to bookstore and asked saleswoman, "where's the self- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

5. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

6. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

7. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

8. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

9. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

10. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

11. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?

12. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

[RBS]

The Longest Password



During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAus tin"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

[Mistery]

Lol, just discovered the idiosyncrasies you posted

Hehe, she should have been told to use numbers, too

[Mati]

Team Fortress 2 joke

If you play Team Fortress 2, you'll get this one.
Q:Why did The Spy cross the road?
A:He never really was on your side.