Don't you just hate it when ...

[the dunce]

ya i know and those political surveys calling you soo annoying!

[EscapeGirl]

Yup, those too!! Grr...sometimes, I can't help it, I just get rude to them!

[Darknight]

When someone makes plans with you to go some where and then they decide to go somewhere with a different friend. Shallow friends suck.

[EscapeGirl]

I agree!!! Shallow friends, aren't friends!! Ooh...I hate people who judge people all the time and are totally into themselves! The very catty type!! Grr...

[Adventure]

There is something that happened more then 20 years ago and what I still don't understand. I can't get it out of my head, so I think I need to write it down. It's is quite a long story and I hope I don't upset people by it, but I really need to post this. I can't explain, but I just have to. If some one is really bordered by it, I will delete it.

My mother and my farther are both from catholic houses. Not that my mom and dad were religious, but my grandparents, especially my grandmother was a true religious person and she talked always very fascinating about, God, Jesus and the bible, etc. I was just 3 or 4 years old, but I was very curious about the Christianity and the church and its masses were mysterious things to me. So once upon a day I asked my father: "Dad, can we please go to a mass sometimes? I really like to see it once." My dad looked at me, lift his eye brow and asked: "Are you serious about this? "Yes!" I answered, "I really like to experience this once". And so we walked to the church in the Central of our village and luckily there was a mass just started. So we went inside the church and I looked around with big interested eyes. I found it fascinating and fantastic! So we took place on a church pew and listen to the words of the priest. So now and then I whispered and ask my father something. I noticed that people looked at us and so my fatherwhispered back to me: "We better can be quit, you can ask me everything after the mass is finished". I nodded yes and we continued with following the mass. Then the part came of: this bread is my body and this wine is my blood, amen. And the people in the church started to come forwards to receive their host and blessing. Very intrigued by all of this, I asked my father: "May I also have a host?" My father looked at me and said: "Wait here and I will go and ask." So my father stood up, walked to the priest, received his host and blessing and asked with a peaceful voice: "May I also have one host for my daughter?" The priest and everyone else in the church looked at me and then at my father again. The priest turn himself to my father again and ask with a calm voice: "Is she baptized?" My father answered with truth and said: "No, she isn't it". Then the priest said: "Well, then she can't receive the blessing of Jesus". When I heard this word I started to cry. I felt rejected, confused and miserable. I didn't understand. Was I bad or something? And I kept crying. The whole church looked at me and my father with angry faces. My father came immediate back to me, hugged me and said: "It's okay, if they don't want you, they don't deserve you. Come, then we go home". My father took my hand and still sobbing we walked through the exit of the church, with everybody still staring at us and whispering what a disgrace this was. The rumour of this sin spread quickly through our community.

One or two days later after this drama we went to my grandparents. My grandfather had already heard of the rumour and was furious at my dad. How could he get this in his head, to do this! Upset to see my grandfather that angry on my father I said: "But I ask my father to.." My grandfather interrupted me and turned his face at me and said kinda aggressive: 'Don't you meddle with this. It's something between your father and me!" Completely thud by his reaction, I stared to cry again. My grandmother came to me, hugged me and took me up her arm and walked with me into the garden. My grandmother did understand it. She put me down and said to me: "Don't cry my dear. God and Jesus love you. Some people just understand the way of the true love of God". (I think my grandmother was one of the most caring and sweet minded persons I ever knew).

Some days later at home my father came at me with a fold clean kerchief in his hands. He went down through his knees and said: "look what I've got." And he opened the kerchief. I started to smile and look with big eyes of happiness at my father. There was one host in it.
Then I said: "Wait, we will do this good". He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of wine, opened and pour out some wine in a glass. He took up the glass and walked with it back to me and kneeled down again. He took the host and break it in two parts and give one part to me. Then he picked up the glass of wine with his other hand and said: "Okay, now take the host and put it in your mouth and let is slowly melt on your tongue". I did what he asked and waited. My father took also his host part in his mouth and then putted his index finger in the glass of wine and made a cross of wine on my forehead. And said: "In the name of the father, the son, the holy spirit and the ghost, here by I bless you in the name of God". He waited a few seconds and continued: "Now you can swallow the host'. And so I did and I looked grateful at my dad and gave him a huge hug.

This is now more then 20 years ago, but I still can remember it clear. I still don't understand why is was a sin of my father that he asked for a host for me. I just don't get it. If that priest, wouldn't have seen at it as a sin, there was a good change that I had become a christen. But because of his rejection, I see the Christianity for a large part (not all of it) as hypocritical. I am just really, really disappointed. I some way I do believe in God, but not in a way like general people do. It's more like a support, when I really don't know it anymore. I think then at my grandmother, who is supposed to be in heaven and ask her if she will ask God, to look care after me. Very strange, because I actually don't believe in a heaven or hell (only here on earth). But for some reason I really believe my grandmother is in heaven, because she believed that she would go there after her life here on earth. Because she believed this, it must be the truth for her. (Yes I am aware that this sounds very strange).

So is it just me? Do I really don't understand the Christian mind? I just really don't get it why it was a sin of my father to ask a host for me. I only was interested and fascinated, and wanted to see and experience what the Christianity was all about. I just really, truly don't get it.

[EscapeGirl]

What a sad story, Adventure. I'm sorry you had to go through that (and at such a young age), and that it caused you to have a disturbed image of Christianity. I don't know much about religion, so I can't explain it, either. I always thought that anyone was welcome at church, and anyone could be blessed, but I am ignorant in that way. I know very little about religion. I have always thought it's a very good thing, and wish I were religious. Anyway, it sounds as though you had a loving, kind and caring father who took good care of you.

[dazedncrazed]

Adventure, I agree with you but in a different way. I'm Anglican (church of England) rather than catholic, but it practices many of the same beliefs. I used to go to church every Sunday. I am a true believer, however there are things which happened which made me question the presence of the church. For example, one time I was sitting on my own, watching my friend who was playing in the church band, when the two women sitting next to me were pointing out other people in the church and saying mean things about them, These two women went to church all the time and were highly respected, yet I couldn't understand how christian people could talk in such a way in church.
Another time there was a lady who arranged for some of the children, including me to help decorate the porch. However whn we got there she found she didn't have enough stuff. She asked us to wait, and she went inside to ask some of the other women for some spare flowers to use. No-one would give her a thing, they wanted to keep them all for themselves. The lady came out crying, and although she tried to keep it frm us we knew what had happened.
These happened when i was about 12, and i have not been to church since. I can not understand how Christians can act in such a way, yet by going to church every Sunday they are seen as respectable Christians. Surely a respectable Christian shares with others and is kind.
Anyway, it is kind of what you are saying, that religion is about faith and belief, after these incidents i saw the church community as hypocritical...all these ladies went there, put on their best clothes, and showed there faith in this building,, yet underneath they were thinking differently. It was like it was all for show.
So that is my understanding, that people get caught up in the presentation of religious services, buildings etc, and forget what the true meaning of religion is.

One thing with Cathocilism is that they believe in mass that the wine and bread are REALLY the body and blood of Christ, rather than my religion, where we believe it only represents it. This might be why they are so strict, however I am not to sure as I am not a Catholic.

[Darknight]

I have a simular feeling about the church. It seems that too many people take it to far. Just because my mother and father were not married when i was born (i was a bastard child) and my sisters birthday is the day after halloween. The church "friends" my family had went nuts. And the funny thing is my Uncle was a Preacher.

[Lilliputt]

@Adventure
Are you asking about the Christian mind or the Catholic? There are vast differences between Christian religiosity, Catholic and Orthodox being most famous. But in any case, I do not believe that this is a proper way to handle a situation no matter what religion you belong to. One simply does not make a small child feel excluded, and I am honestly very sorry it happened to you and angry at those who acted that way. But it seems to me more that this is not a question of faith but rather a question of who should be allowed to express their belief through a ceremony or ritual. As a historian I have seen many examples of odd behaviour when it comes to religion. Sadly I have no good answer why this happens, I am only sorry that it does.

[doglover]

I can't believe this...
It happens the same in my church. People can be so stupid! I stoped believing in God because of that! All my family believes in God, though, I think I'm the only one that simply stoped believing (though, only my friends know about that I don't want to upsad my parents or something...)
Before I used to believe that God would love all of us, but then I started to see the real world...there are fights and wars about religion! What kind of people are we?!? People believe in what they want and not in what they're told to believe!!!

Every Sunday I go to catechesis, and they tell us some things that...just don't make sense!!! My catechizer says that we need to believe in something to live...and that something is God, and only God! I live and I'm happy, and guess what, it's not because of God! It's because of my friends! She says that our only real friend is God, because he's always there to cheer us up when we're sad, he's always there to help us when we're in troubles! You know who's always there to cheer me up? My friends! You know who's always there when I'm in troubles? My friends!!! God never helps me! They say that we have to pray...I used to pray...but for what?!? He doesn't help me when I'm really sad! If God is supposed to love and help everybody, why doesn't he help me when I'm having the worst moments of my life?!?
I don't even try to tell that to my catechizer! She'll immediatly tell that to the priest and the priest will probably ban me from the church!
I can't even say that God isn't the reason of my life!!! As Dazed said, they take it all to seriously!!! And I think this just doesn't work like that!!! God is supposed to love everybody! No mather who we are and in what we believe!!! And I'm really confused about all this!!!
Imagine this: at school they say that the world was created by a BigBang, and in the church they say that the world was created by God and that we're supposed to love God above anything else! What's the real explanation?

I would love to believe in God, and to pray and all that...but I just can't...because of all they say in church! If we're supposed to believe in God that way...I rather don't believe in God and believe in my friends, my family and in science...

Sorry if this is really confusing...but the truth is that I'm also very confused...so it's hard to explain how I fell about the church...

@Adventure, I really don't know what to say about what happened to you...EscapeGirl, Dazed and Lilli just said everything... Though...I'm really angry that what happens here also happens there...And I'm even more angry that they did that with you being so young!!! Children have fellings too!!!!

[bread]

stupid religous freaks if they want to believe in somthing than fine they can.
but trying to convert others and even excluding people(e.g:adventure)
is wrong if god loves us he should let us all have freedom to whatever religion or none we want.

just my 2 cents ^_^

[Lilliputt]

I agree Doglover, actually I belive children are way more sensitive then adults and they also cannot defend themselves verbally. That is why I am so appalled by your stories. It is good however, Doglover that you put such trust in your friends, it sounds healthy to me. Personally I do not belong to any religion but I think that has more to do with my barbaric parents then anything else...

[Adventure]

OMG I almost can't believe there are so many replies at my story! I really don't know what to say anymore... But thank you all!

Oh yes one thing: @Lilli
It was a (Roman???) Catholic church, but I thought Catholics were also Christians. And yes I am aware there are many flows, but I don't actually know how to get them all out of each other. There are just too many flows. My hubby once explained it too me, but the truth is I already forget it half. I am not religious or what so ever. I only believe in myself and the good people around me. Just like Doglover pointed this out.

[dazedncrazed]

Adventure christianity has many dominations, which mean 'branches' or sub-groups. Catholic is one of these, as is Methodist, Anglican, Protestant, Quaker and many more...they all believe in God and Jesus, but in different ways.

Also, you should not be suprised there are so many replies. Whether you have a religion or not, it is a subject of faith, belief and hope...which are very strong to every individual. Many wars have been fought over the subject, and therefore religious thoughts or beliefs should never be taken lightly.

[Lilliputt]

Please, I don't want to give a lecture on the history of Christianity cuz it really is very strange and there are endless things that make little if not any sense at all. Adventure, do you remember when I told you about Artemisia Gentileschi and her theme about Judith and Holofernes? Well the book of Judith got cencured, yes that is right, CENCURED out of the holy book in the swedish version of the protestant bible. So much for the Holy Writ.