Tweet
Can i have some ideas for a new book please
-
New York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York -
i think you should make the second of this! that was WAY too short! and you left it open! OH SO OPEN! you could do A LOT of things off that! like, make it so that the guy--what's his name again?--helps all the phantoms by finding out a cure! or something! then when they are all human again they could try and kill this Ebony character, but it could backfire and he could disappear, then when tha main character, bob i'm going to call him, is alone, Ebony is in the darkest corner of his house, and he tries to kill Bob, but Bob always keeps a syringe with the cure with him for just this reason!
*takes breath*
yeah.
GH Family (possibly the coolest
)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.
)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
Great it is good to have an opinion, especially the way you said it. But you never said if the story was good/bad and whether you liked it or not. I left it open so there could be a sequel and my teacher said you get more marks if you leave it for the reader to decide.
But everyone (emo, e7ga123, justeazy, heartofdark) wants me to write a new different one.New York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
i thought it was really really good! if you want to wirte something different s'okay. 
it's YOUR story.
GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
If you were writing a sequel what would be the next first line of itNew York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
"Everything was quite as i looked out the window."
first sentence.
GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
Very good but i was thinking.
I am Ebony and im going to kill you.
What did you think of the opening of the first storyNew York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
very descriptive. i liked the similes in it.
GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
But did you understand what it meant? because my friends think it is ####New York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
your friends thinks it's bad? what?GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
I didn't mean it like that, i meant the people i know think the opening goes on for too long, and as it is getting entered into an award if you read the very first post it needs to be perfect, so does any part of it need improving. I am concerned about the start
That is what i meant to sayNew York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
oh. no i like the beginning. but that's just me. i like my similes.
GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
yeah there is loads of similes, metaphors and personification in there.
Ok just to get caught up on your story because i haven't read it, but i will has the second book got a titleNew York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
-
not yet.
i was going to wait until it's done. speaking of which the next chapter is up.
yeah i really like your story. i thought i was very good.
GH Family (possibly the coolest)
Brother: ~GH Dog~
Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
(highlight the text, there's someone hiding.)
Ghost Robot Cousin: ClankComment
-
End of an era
The next story will be coming soon, this is just an official warningNew York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can’t do,
Now you're in New York!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New YorkComment
Comment